Ep. 76 An Interview With Our Husbands
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We’re a little extra chatty on this episode because we’re interviewing our husbands today! Bryce (Laura’s husband) and Kenny (Kristin’s husband) allowed us to pick their brilliant brains about their own approach to personal growth, friendship, and living a fulfilling life.
Here’s what we talked about:
The background of our 9-year friendship
How Kenny and Bryce each approach their own progress and learning
Their approach to fitting in hobbies and things they love despite professional demands
Making time for what’s important and saying no without guilt
Kenny’s sweet advice on parenthood
Links Mentioned In This Episode
Recap of Episode
Here’s what our husbands had to say about their personal growth
Kristin’s husband Kenny
Kenny approaches his personal growth in terms of learning, habits, and accomplishments. He has certain topics he likes to learn more about, he thinks about the habits currently giving shape and form to his life and helping him become the person he wants to be, and here’s what he says about accomplishments:
“In terms of accomplishments, I've thought about this in the past couple years a lot, especially when my gramps passed away: What it is that you want to be said about you and what your legacy is? And how it is that you expect to be remembered? And so I think about that in the context of what I want to accomplish. What do I feel like I need to do in order to feel like I've accomplished something? So with that, I decide on the accomplishments I want to make. And what is the ideal that I'm aiming for in each of these areas? And then I just start aiming for them.”
Laura’s husband Bryce
Bryce says he compartmentalizes his life into different areas: his professional goals, hobbies, and learning. He sets goals within those areas each week to make progress and spend time doing what’s most important to him. He says:
“But I think that it's important to separate different categories of your life so that you can say, ‘Alright, during this time, I'll work on my training, but I need to focus on other aspects of my life as well.’ Otherwise, when you’re done with whatever it is you're working on, you'll find that you haven't become a well-rounded person. So I think that's an important thing for me at this time in my life.”
How to Make Time For What You Love
Here’s Kristin’s husband advice on making more time for yourself by saying no more often. Kenny says:
“You struggle to find time to do things that you love to do because you're busy, right? When your life is just taken over terms of busy-ness. And I think that it’s very healthy to be willing to say no to things. I don't feel bad about it.
There is not a temptation, almost just like this natural force in the contemporary world that drives people to fill up their calendars with things. I think that that is unhealthy. When we go through busy periods, I am always thinking like we're doing too much, right? We are doing too much. And we should not be afraid to say, ‘No, we’re not going to take on anymore, we're going to take a season to cool our jets a little bit.’
If you find yourself in a place where the culture that you have created does not allow you to pursue things, I would say that the thing that needs to change is thinking about paring back.”
Here’s how Laura’s husband Bryce makes time for the important things in his weekly planning:
“I think for me it comes down to planning.
My weeks are very different week to week, my schedule is very different. So usually on Sunday night or afternoon, I look at my schedule and I decide when I'm going to do certain things. So I'll say, ‘If I want to get this done for work then I need to do that this night, and if I want to have time for drawing, that'll probably have to be Saturday or Sunday.’ And so I can kind of schedule out what I want to do throughout the week.
And then I think it's important to be flexible with yourself, because a lot of times things come up that we weren't expecting. And so at that point, you'd have to realize that maybe you won't meet your goals for that week. But that's fine. You can always try to make up for it the following week.”
Here’s Bryce’s system for keeping track of what he’s working on:
“Typically at the end of every day, I'll keep a log of my general activities. And I just find that it helps me to see where I'm lacking and what I need to work on moving forward. It's not super detailed. It's not a huge journal entry. It's just bullet points in Google Docs of what I did that day, just so I can see what I need to do in the days to come.”
How to Not Feel Guilty
when it comes to making time for things that bring progress and growth:
Kristin’s husband Kenny says:
“I think that for most of the habits and things that I focus on in terms of growth, it's not about guilt, it's about passion. I have a passion for this. And so guilt just is not something that's really motivating me…. I'm not like writing off guilt entirely, because I think you should feel guilty when you are not doing what you should be doing. But generally you should be thinking about moving beyond it.”
Giving up what you LIKE for what you LOVE
“I think that's what most people need to do as you find something you truly love -- you might have to give up some things that you like to do the things that you love more often.”
Do you like being really busy?
“It seems to be the case that people almost slouch into a kind of busy-ness.”
Kenny’s advice on fatherhood
“The thing with kids is that you pour love into your children. And I think that that is all you really need to do. And by you pouring love into your kids, it is just reflected and magnified in this incredibly transformative way. If you pour love into your kid, that's all you need to worry about.”
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