Ep. 64 How to Trust Yourself
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One of the best skills we’ve learned in the last couple years has been the ability to actually DO what we say we’ll do. We both spent so many years wanting to make progress on our goals and dreams but making excuses when it came time to take the action we said we’d take. In today’s episode we’re talking all about how to develop that trust in yourself and start making real changes in your life.
Here’s what we covered:
6 easy steps to learning to trust yourself
How to figure out what you’re striving for in the first place
Why taking actions without getting clear on your “why” behind it stops you before you’ve even begun
The magic of design over willpower
How to begin proving to yourself that you can do what you commit to
Two easy fill-in-the-blank mantras to redirect your brain when you feel resistance
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Recap of Episode
6 Easy Steps to learn to trust yourself more:
1. Figure out what you’re striving for
Who is it that you want to be?
What do you want to fix, work on or strive for?
2. Make it a heart change (find the WHY behind the actions you want to take)
If you can be clear on the WHY behind what you truly want, then the actions flow so much easier from that and it doesn’t require nearly as much willpower or effort.
3. Create a new thought or mantra
One easy way to create a mantra for trusting yourself is to finish the sentence, “I am someone who _______.” Or “The ______ I want to be would ______.”
Example: “The friend I want to be would act on promptings she receives.”
4. Just take action in small steps (prove to yourself that you CAN trust yourself)
You’re either going to be uncomfortable and frustrated with yourself for not doing the thing or you’re going to be uncomfortable actually doing the thing. They’re different kinds of uncomfortable but you might as well choose the uncomfortable that actually gets the thing done.
Remember, design over willpower: The idea that the design of things is always going to be more beneficial than just your willpower.
5. Congratulate yourself on those small steps
Congratulate yourself that you ARE making progress! You’ve created your own evidence that you can prove that you did what you said you’d do. The more you do what you say you’ll do, the more power you have over your life. And that is super exciting and so fun and liberating.
6. Don’t forget to trust in God
Trusting in someone who has a greater perspective is always helpful.
Following through can be scary
“Once I learn how to do the big and scary things I’ve always wanted to do and actually put myself out there and try and succeed, then this whole new world opens up of all the other things that maybe I can do too.” - Kristin
We get bogged down by the one scary thing we think we can’t do. And if you get through that then you realize you can just use the same principles you used for that for something else. Then nothing can stop you.
Sometimes we’re really fearful of things because we can’t see the big picture. We don’t know how long it’s going to take or how hard it’s going to be or what we’re going to have to do to get there. All that can be really scary and make us not want to start in the first place.
Design Over Willpower
Design over willpower: The idea that the design of things is always going to be more beneficial than just your willpower.
Example: If you want to get up early to workout ask yourself what you can do/design to help you so you’re not relying on sheer willpower…maybe you layout your workout clothes the night before and layout a yoga mat right by your bed so all you have to do is roll out of bed and get on your mat.
Even if you have to take the first action out of sheer willpower, then the NEXT action can come out of pride and confidence and capability. And that’s what keeps you going is coming at it from those feelings rather than white-knuckling willpower.
“The more you do what you say you’ll do, the more power you have over your life. And that is super exciting and so fun and liberating.” - Kristin
Like the episode? We’d love to hear!
Have you found ways to trust yourself and follow through on things?
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